Our love is like a shotgun's bullet

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

♥ 8:33 PM

i dun wanna let you go

cause i'll miss you terribly

and yet

i don't want to put

myself and you through this

cause it hurts to think that

no matter how much

i do love you,

we'll always disagree

and blow up

sooner or later.

but when i think of all the happy times,

my misery fades away

and i just want to cling onto you..

forever.

Sunday, October 23, 2005

♥ 5:45 AM

ok.. i'm back and in the mood to write more.
yesterday i went to j8 ( again ) i never thought i'd say this but, i'm getting reallii sick of it. and i have never gotten sick of a shopping mall before. seriously. anyway, when i got there, i saw inez and ken ju and.. loads more. kai yuan was hiding away in the toilet.. of all places. when bernita first saw stephen, she said he looked as pale as his white shirt and asked me if he was going to coplase. i tried VERY VERY hard to imagine him coplasing while trying not to laugh but i couldnt at all. but who actually can?

after, syu kuan gave ken ju another necklace. really, those two are sweet together. stephen's mom was also there and it was kinda fun, watching kai yuan and stephen ( they came out from the toilet ) looking uncomfortable. i had like no what-so-ever idea what was happening at that time. they were deciding between skeleton key and flightplan. we were supposed to spilt into two groups but i think they wanted to us all to watch skeleton key. i wasnt really keen but bernita seemed suddenly so interested in the show. i could tell she was really excited about the whole thing.. i didnt expect it from her though. she was wayy more excited than me.. hah..

anyway, we didnt watch skeleton key after all. me bernita and a few others watched flightplan which is, if u ask me, a total retard show. stephen's mom was in the same row as us so it was kinda.. comical. but the boys really didnt do anything. they seem to be much more scared than us. or maybe they are scared of us. but whatever.when we went out of the cinema, i didnt see them anymore. its frustating to think that they actually ask us out and not do anything..

together, me and bernita went walking around the mall, while she was in hopes of finding them. personally, if the guy doesnt come look for you, forget it. its only gonna make you look desperate. although, this IS the 21 century.. me and bernita bought mcdonalds and went to a playground which we absolutely love. it is, though for kids, really 'stylish'.. at least i think so. we just sat around and eat our 'dinner'. i highly doubt i have had such a wacky dinner in j8 before.

after, i had to go to my aunts house which is located at holland, near henry park primary school. i took the mrt to emm... devour and alighted there. i was supposed to meet my cousin, who, for you info, is in jc1. we went back together to his house and he skate-boarded, trying to jump on the skateboard. he looked reallii 'cool' doing his tricks..

later that night, stephen called my handphone and we talked for very long.. he put me on speaker and syu kuan was there so it was kinda interesting.. he told me a major major secret ( which i'm not telling anyone ). but really, i like talking to him --AS A FRIEND--. its nice to hear a boy's opinion when you need help. anyway, we ended up talking till 2.30 which, i know is real late.. but still; it was fun. and syu kuan was like there, complaining that he wanted to play stephen's ps 2. and the both of them were squabbling over when to play it.. haha

these few days, kai yuan has really been acting weird. i have to go summon up my courage and talk to him.. ask him whats wrong. vc said that msn nick said something about breaking up.. it really scares me. i dun think i've ever liked someone as much as i like him now. the feeling that he gives me.. its remarkable. i now understand the meaning of someone's heart beating faster and slower at the same time. he does that to me. perhaps its god's will. whatever it is, i shall go on with life.. and tell myself that he isnt worth it no matter how hard my heart will ache. hiaz.

♥ 3:06 AM

that's my not-so-nice brother. i thought i would just add his picture.. to get him pissed. muhahaha.
on normal days, his lips are REALLY red ( like a girl's ). i would kill to have lips as red as him -as if-.. his skin is like soo un-tanned, hes eye lashes are to die for. i'm the kinda girl who absolutely cannot resist long eye-lashes. they blow me off my feet. i tend to enjoy watching him open and close his eyes, so that i can admire his longg eye-lashes.. but he hasnt figured it outt yet. i'm going for lunch now... i'll blogg more after.

Friday, October 21, 2005

♥ 4:22 PM

those are two-outta-three of my favourite cousins.. ever. if you ever saw them in real life, i bet you anything that you'll love them so much that you'll wish they were a tad older so that they would be the ones going out with you, accompanying you instead of your beau.

anyway.. you know the dream i talked about earlier? it kinda still freaks me outt.. its weird.. i mean, in my dream, i felt so 'in love' with that no-face guy and seriously; he doesnt have a face!! how many girls do you know that actually have such a dream?! the weirdest part is that; when i woke up and thought about the dream, i realised i didnt have the 'in love' feeling anymore. and yet, i felt bonded to that no-face guy, like as though i knew him for very long..

bottem line -> i could be going nuts.

i havent been talking to sara for quite a while now. she just burst out on me.. she has really changed alot after she stayed single for quite a while. i dun understand why she has to be so.. different. i really want her to change back to how she used to be. even jia ying and clare says that she has changed abit.. sighzz.. i wish she hadnt.

also,i dunno what to do bout 'the ex.' anymore. i'm going to call him 'the ex.' cause i kinda like it.. on the last day of psle, me jia ying sara clare and sum other boys went to junction 8 to watch 'into the blue' which, if you ask me, is plad boring. anyway, the ex. went as well and i kinda freaked out. at that time i was already 'with' kai yuan and i wasnt really sure of what i felt towards him. so, we sat beside each other in the cinema ( shocker ) and it was rather weird.

halfway through the movie, he said to brandon hong, who was sitting next to him 'can see the guy's butt'. i was like so grossed out but, despite myself, i laughed out loud. slightly after that, the ex started to push against brandon and the whole row of us ( there were ALOT of ppl ) looked at them. i will always remember the scene where we all looked at them, with confused expressions on our faces. jia ying and her 'bf' were like so close to each other.. they looked really sweet.. i kinda envy her.. she gets what she wants from the guy and they guy seems to know her really well. they give me the feeling that they are like best friends, brothers and sisters and yet boyfriend-girlfriend at the same time.

on that day, sara was sitting beside me. behind us, sat ronald. he had followed us all the way in, even buying his own ticket on account of us refusing to help him buy it. and from where i stand, i thought that it was really very sweet and decided that i just had to help him. so anyway, my nose started bleeding and i had to rush off to the washroom, however, i had dropped my wallet and was desperate to find it. so, as i was running out of the cinema, i asked ronald to help me look for my wallet, also giving him a chance to sit beside sara. i could tell that he was very happy. and the nicest thing was that; jia ying and clare came running to the toilet to look for me. however, sara, my BEST friend, didnt. it really hurt to think that she couldnt be bothered. when i came back from the toilet, with jia ying and clare, ronald, unfortunately had to go back to his seat.

when the couple was kissing on the show, ronald smsed sara asking if the show was nice. i had a very hard time controlling my laughter.i dare say sara was kinda digusted. but then who woulnt be? when the movie was over, i couldnt find ronald and was surprised to see that he had inched his way up to the same row as us, only, he was sitting at the other end.

when the movie was over, we went to take sum neoprint. they turned out soo nicely!! they were mostly taken by clare and jia ying with their 'bf's. slightly before that, we all spotted kai yuan stephen and stephen's brother. the ex got kinda... pissed i think and he walked of. he only came back after a while. but it was kinda uncomfortable for me.. before that, when we were taking the esclator up, brandon and another friend ran up, cause brandon had lost his wallet.. the other boys had also followed and cause all us girls were like blocking the way up from the esclator, the ex had no choice but to stay with us. i was standing at the highest platform and as i looked down, i saw him loooking at me and i felt.. like as though a 'gush of warmth' had rushed past my body.. it was kinda freaky though... yet it was freaky in a.. emm.. nice way.

for the second movie, which i went in with kai yuan and sum other ppl, it was much more entertaining. i dunno and i wonder if it was because of the people around me; the people watching the movie with me or was it just soley because of the movie. i really enjoyed that movie.. the company was right i think.. they were all funny and like.. wacky. and yet i liked them being wacky..

you must really be thinking that i am nuts... sigh... oh well... i'm going to go prepare for bed since it is already 1.18am!!

good night people..

♥ 7:20 AM

harlow`.. i'm at lisa's house now. we ( me amanda and lisa ) were supposed to do more stuff for da jumble sale coming up.. but oh well.. i'm not the only one slacking.. lisa was busy staring into the computer screen.. doing some bloggy stuff. amanda's the no-way-i'm-getting-distracted kinda girl. no wonder she got accepted into dunman and nanyang. now lisa's is 'painting my shirt blue' its really turning blue. sighz..

yesterday,i went to junction 8 and saw LOADS of ppl.. even the one that lisa LOVES ( she is like sooo jealous of me.. haha ) it feels good to know that someone is jealous of you. i also saw amanda and xi nan.. we took neoprint together and it turned out great. at least i think so. xi nan was in a skirt which was purely pink. which is so out of her league. i never imagined that she would wear something like that. which is cool. and also means that i can tease her.. haha

i had two wayy weird dreams last night. which were plain scary. in the first one, i dreamt i had failed my english psle paper.. when i woke up, ( in the middle of the night ) i realised that the paper was different.. but it still scares the heck out of me. the second one, i was running away from kai yuan. i was like hugging another guy.. but there wasnt any 'face'.. i was so scared when i woke up ... i was shivering and i thought i was mad!!
i've gotta go do the project that i came to lisa's house to do in the first place... we're all slacking!

ok.. bye!